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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27134215">Our Last Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CovenWitch/pseuds/CovenWitch'>CovenWitch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Missing Scene, One Shot, yes i cried writing this and what about it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:08:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27134215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CovenWitch/pseuds/CovenWitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dani already made her decision. But Jamie wakes up before she leaves and she can't bear the idea of losing the love of her life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dani Clayton/Jamie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Our Last Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something woke her up in the middle of the night. Her eyes were heavy from sleep, but she could still see the shape of a person standing by the door, looking back at her. Although the shape was familiar and Jamie would be able to recognize it even in a thousand years, her hand searched the bed for Dani, almost as an automatic response. The absence of her wife lying beside her on the bed felt strange, unnatural. As she turned on the lights, Jamie realized that something else wasn’t feeling right.</p>
<p>“Dani?” she called as soon as she saw the look on the woman’s face.</p>
<p>Dani looked scared. And the thought of that scared Jamie just as much. But she’d seen her being scared before, and that was different. That was something else. Yes, she was scared, but she was also determined. There was something strong in her eyes, something decisive. An ultimatum. That scared Jamie even more.</p>
<p>She stood up as fast as she possibly could and walked towards Dani. She cupped her face in her hands, examining every tiny detail of her expression, trying to decipher it. Trying to understand what was going on. But Dani didn’t reveal anything. She just stood there, perfectly still. And as Jamie searched her face for evidence of what was happening, examining her every feature with extreme caution, she had to stop when her look reached Dani’s eyes. There it was. Her Dani.</p>
<p>When she looked at her eyes, which were looking back at her, all she could see was love. Pure love. And for a moment she had a feeling, deep in her heart, that everything was fine.</p>
<p>“Are you alright, love?”</p>
<p>Dani nodded, but she didn’t say a word. And only then Jamie realized. She’d changed her clothes. She had her shoes on. And she was about to leave the room the moment Jamie had woken up.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” She was afraid she already knew the answer to that question. But she still refused to believe. It couldn’t be.</p>
<p>“There’s something I have to do.” Dani’s voice was calm, and she spoke almost in a whisper.</p>
<p>“Does it have to be in the middle of the night?” It couldn’t be. No. Not now.</p>
<p>“Go back to sleep” Dani whispered as she softly run her hand through Jamie’s hair, her eyes still locked on the brunette.</p>
<p>Jamie took a step back, not wanting to believe what she already felt that was the truth. She ran her eyes through the room, trying to think of something she could say, something she could do to make her stay. And then she saw it. A small folded piece of paper resting on the bedside table. The sight of it struck her like a bullet. It was a goodbye note. She froze. She wished time could freeze as well, so she wouldn’t have to deal with whatever has about to happen. So she just stood there, looking at that piece of paper, pretending she could stay like that forever.</p>
<p>“Jamie…” Dani’s voice was tender, but it hid so much pain in it.</p>
<p>Jamie realized then that there was no such thing as stopping time, and that she had to face that moment, the one she’d been so afraid of during the past few years.</p>
<p>And when she turned back to look at Dani, there it was again. That pure love in her eyes. Love for her. She’d never felt loved like this before. And she knew, right there, at that very moment, that if love had a face, if love had a shape, it would be Dani. The thought of losing her was worse than death, it physically hurt. Like Dani was a whole part of her, which she couldn’t live without. She wondered how she ever lived without Dani in her life. She couldn’t remember how life before Dani was. It was no life at all, she thought. It was this woman, after all, who had brought life into it. Like her own little private garden. That’s what Dani was. Her garden. Her flowers. Her source of life and beauty and happiness and love. Literally the only thing that mattered to her. Without her everything would be dead. No plants, no flower blooming. It made her think of her father, working underground in that lifeless mine. That’s how it would feel for her, to live without Dani.</p>
<p>“You promised.” She tried her best not to sound too desperate, but she failed. “<em>We</em> promised, Poppins!” Her voice cracked at the mention of the sweet name she’d given the blonde all those years ago. Their own little private joke. Her heart shattered into millions of pieces at the thought that she might never have the chance to say it to her again. “One day at a time. We promised that we’d live one day at a time.”</p>
<p>She could no longer hold back the tears at this point. Not that she cared, really. They started rolling down her cheeks endlessly, never seeming to stop.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Dani reached out to hold Jamie’s hand. “and it worked.”</p>
<p>“It did work!” Jamie exclaimed, pain consuming her entire body. She realized she was losing control over herself, and tried pulling herself together, breathing slowly for a moment. She squeezed Dani’s hand and looked deep into her eyes. “There are more days to come.”</p>
<p>She said it almost as a plead, a supplication. As if with those words she were begging Dani not to leave her. Not now. There’s so much more to do. There’s so much time ahead.</p>
<p>“We don’t know that.” Dani stroked Jamie’s hair with her free hand.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to go.”</p>
<p>Jamie looked for any change on Dani’s face. Any hint or sign that she might reconsider. That she might change her mind. But her expression remained the same. She had made her decision, and there was nothing that Jamie could say to change that.</p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>There was so much certainty in her voice that it made Jamie shiver. She didn’t need any arguments to be convinced, all it took was that tone on Dani’s voice to make her understand that it really was the right thing to do, or at least that Dani truly believed it were. And that was all she needed to be convinced.</p>
<p>But still, she couldn’t let her go. She couldn’t let her do that. She loved Dani more than anything in the world and during all those years they were together she always stood by her side. She blindly supported every single decision Dani made. But now she couldn’t. Because if she did, she’d lose her. So for once in her life with Dani she would have to be selfish and tell her no. Tell her she wouldn’t let her go through with it.</p>
<p>Without thinking any longer, Jamie took a step forward and threw her arms around Dani. The despair in that act was so big and terrifying that it took Dani off guard. She could feel Jamie’s body shaking heavily against her own as she painfully sobbed, the tears streaming down her face, which was now buried in Dani’s neck.</p>
<p>Jamie locked her arms around her wife and held her as tight as she could. Maybe that way she would never leave her. Dani held her just as strong, but her embrace had a different meaning. It meant goodbye. It meant let me hold you and touch you and memorize every detail in your body because this is going to be the last time. And Jamie realized that, which made her bring Dani even closer to her, more than she thought was physically possible.</p>
<p>“Please, don’t leave me.” Jamie whispered between the tears. Her voice was now barely audible. “Don’t leave me. Dani, don’t leave me.” She repeated it as if it were a prayer. As if that way she could make it true.</p>
<p>Dani stepped back a little so she could look Jamie in the face, the brunette still not letting go of her. Dani held her face in her hands and looked straight in her eyes.</p>
<p>“I won’t. Ever.”</p>
<p>And in Dani’s face Jamie could see that she meant every word.</p>
<p>“You promise?”</p>
<p>It wasn’t her intention, but that small question brought up an old memory from years ago. From the first time they’d spent the night together, back at the manor. Dani had made her promise that there would be other nights after that one. And she did. And there were. Night after night after night for 13 years. But not anymore. Now their nights together were over.</p>
<p>“Promise.”</p>
<p>At that moment, looking into the eyes of the woman that she loved, Jamie knew it was true. It didn’t matter how, it didn’t matter if it were impossible, Jamie just knew that Dani would never leave her.</p>
<p>They both leaned forward at the same time, as if it had been scripted, and deepened themselves into the most passionate kiss. They held onto each other the way a drowning man holds into a lifeboat, like their own lives depended on it. They pulled each other closer and closer, tried to fit into each other. They were desperate. Trying to make years’ worth of love fit into minutes. Trying to tell all the “I love you’s” they wouldn’t be able to tell in the future.</p>
<p>They were both a mess when they’re lips parted. Tears everywhere. Still not letting go of each other. Dani lead Jamie back to bed, where they laid together, arms and legs intertwined. Jamie promised herself that she wouldn’t sleep. She’d stay awake the whole night if she had to. Only to make sure that her Dani stayed there. She wouldn’t let her go.</p>
<p>But the minutes passed slowly and her eyelids got heavy. And she was so tired. She tried and tried to stay awake, as hard as she could. She really did. And for years after that day she would hate herself for not trying hard enough.</p>
<p>She would wake up the next morning and immediately feel the void beside her. The worst feeling she could possibly imagine would infest her body and her bones would freeze. She would see that damn note still laying on the bedside table and she would read it. She would go back to the place where everything started and then… And then she would find her Dani. And that image would haunt her for the rest of her life.</p>
<p>But every time she did find herself with that image in her mind, she’d try to replace it with one from the night before. That last night they had together. Their bodies tangled into one, their breaths sharing the same space, their arms holding each other as tight as they could. And she would remember Dani’s promise, that she’d never leave her. For the rest of her life, Jamie held on tight to that promise. Whenever the pain of Dani’s loss was too unbearable, Jamie would think about it. And most times, she felt it was true. The promise. She felt like Dani was still there, still with her. Like she’d never really left. Sometimes the feeling was stronger than others. Sometimes she could swear she physically felt Dani’s presence.</p>
<p>And it was that feeling, always that feeling, that kept her going during all those years. The thought that Dani wasn’t really gone, and never would be. The thought that Dani was still with her, always with her, until the end.</p>
<p>Because she was. Jamie didn’t know how, but she knew it was true. That as long as she lived, Dani lived as well. And it was enough. Knowing that was enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry if this was shit, i just can't get these two out of my mind (yes this series destroyed my life)<br/>if you want to leave feedback i'd be very happy :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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